THIS SELF-ASSESSMENT TOOL WILL GIVE YOU A SAMPLE OF THE DEPTH OF THIS MATERIAL
(Take a moment to respond to each of these)
How Tasks Of This Stage Of Development Emerge As Goals In Adulthood With Respect To Specific Areas Of Concerns:
1. Body Image—Physical Body—Often what emerges at this juncture is a desire to be acknowledged for achievements with respect to your physical form or food program. You notice you want to feel comfortable in your body—not oblivious to it. If you have dissociated from your body due to abuse, you might begin to want to come home and recognize your physical form as a vital part of your healing. There exists a desire to feel connected, grounded and aware of your body and its presence.
_____1. I want my peers to acknowledge how well I stay in shape.
_____2. I am very conscientious about my eating habits and like acknowledgment.
_____3. I feel out of touch with my body.
_____4. It is important my body fits in with society’s standards.
2. Self–Image—Emotional Body—Self-Image is dependent upon receiving outside and external validation and recognition. You may notice you want to be seen for the person you are…to be more visible. You can also begin to pursue mastery in some outside interest and have a need to be recognized for this mastery…but the mastery still has to be within the acceptable limits of the external world such as peers or family.
_____1. I feel self-conscious about my talents.
_____2. I dislike exposure and prefer to stay hidden.
_____3. I feel the right to claim my true self, but feel awkward in doing so.
_____4. I don’t like being too vulnerable.
3. Belief systems—Mental Body—During this stage you will notice that you want your beliefs to match those with whom you relate. To be the same is to be accepted and the goal at this stage is to fit in—so you will be drawn to those who think as you think. Your family’s belief system will become less important as you seek to find a like-minded peer group to support you in your new efforts.
_____1. I express my thoughts but only if I know they are going to be accepted.
_____2. I cautiously test another’s opinions to see if he/she thinks as I.
_____3. If I state a truth which is different than others I feel uncomfortable.
_____4. I feel nervous I will be judged if I say what I think or feel.
4. Spirituality—Spiritual Body—(Spiritual Path or Recovery Program)
At this stage of your spiritual path you begin to identify heavily with another dogma or the teachings of someone outside of self. Most are not quite ready to claim their own views and put their own signature on their spiritual belief. Many still seek an outside authority such as a Guru or spiritual teacher to determine the steps of their path.
_____1. I feel invisible and unseen by those in my spiritual community.
_____2. I have not found a path or community to which I want to belong.
_____3. I have difficulty speaking my truth about my spiritual beliefs.
_____4. My spiritual beliefs are different than those of my family.
As Related To Your First Contact In A Recovery Program For Addictions
If you are in a 12-Step Recovery program you may find that you are still adhering to the principles of the program which you used to get clean. Outside approval is still sought after before you can muster up the momentum to break away on your own and to personalize your own recovery program.
_____1. I often feel I am on the outside looking in and that I never fit in.
_____2. I do not socialize at meetings as much as I would like.
_____3. I dislike speaking up in meetings and rehearse what I am going to say.
_____4. I think all of this self-help and treatment jargon is ridiculous.
5. Family and Intimate Relationships—You will find you still want to fit in with your family but the stirrings of breaking away are under the surface…and fitting in with peers will begin to have more dominance. You might notice there are silent bargains maintained which sustain your being able to fit in with the “in” crowd rather than break the molds. A compromise of your authentic self will take precedence over risking loss of peer approval. Unfortunately, the price paid is your own authenticity. Your need for approval can also be based on being counted on for “being there for others, for doing for others” at the expense of self—which is a perpetuation of the theme of the codependent bargain which now gets projected onto relationships with peers.
_____1. I would like to be more acknowledged by those I love.
_____2. I feel invisible and unseen by family members.
_____3. If I disagree with my partner I stay silent rather than risk disapproval.
_____4. Even if I have strong feelings I will still agree with others.
6. Sexuality and Passion—As an adult you might notice your desire to make sexual choices which are acceptable to the norm and fit in rather than stand out. If everyone in your peer group is promiscuous, you may feel pressure to conform. You may find you are less able to set your own standards based on your own inner values because of your need for outside validation. Passion may be something you have a hard time defining at this point. You may become aware of the inner urges of your authenticity, but you feel too dependent on outside approval to “go for it.” Sometimes people can feel as though they are a victim to their own passion because of the losses which might result if they act from their own source of passion which may be “unacceptable.”
_____1. My sexual preferences pretty much fit into the societal norm.
_____2. My creative thoughts, which I share with few, are somewhat avant-garde.
_____3. I am very creative but feel I get little recognition for my efforts.
_____4. I have strong sexual preferences but keep quiet to avoid criticism.
7. Prosperity and Abundance—The challenge at this stage is to determine if your financial goals are based on your value system or an external one. You may find you base your financial goals on your need for recognition so you set goals which are in alignment with society’s values and not your own. You may discover you spend money on things which will win approval from others as you try to “keep up with the Jones” so you can fit in with friends, neighbors and family. It is important to keep in mind this is a phase and not become too judgmental of yourself as you explore these tendencies.
_____1. It is important to me to “keep up with the Jones.”
_____2. My job pays well and I like others to know this.
_____3. I feel less prosperous than most around me.
_____4. I feel abundant but keep it quiet rather than risk rejection or criticism.
8. Job, Career or Climb on the Corporate Ladder—Your work-related desire related to this stage will be to find a support system within the company…to find your niche of like-minded co-workers with whom you fit in. You might find you don’t want to stand out…don’t want to lose your job. You may discover you are attempting to get promoted for being “good” and “appropriate”—not “creative” and “individual.” Many stuck at this stage find they shy away from taking risks which could jeopardize their secure positions.
_____1. I feel very cautious when I try a new behavior at work.
_____2. I get nervous if I do something at work which draws attention to me.the I can’t figure out
_____3. If I don’t like something I keep quiet. Why buck the system?
_____4. I have some ideas which excite me but I don’t share them with anyone.
As you peruse the above material, contemplate how the issues of this developmental stage interface with your daily life and perhaps reflect the issues and lessons of your Soul. Then turn your focus to your calves because it is this muscle group which holds the essence of this stage of development and the issues of fitting in and being successful at completing projects and attaining goals.
WORKSHEET: Now fill this out to further clarify you work.
The more focused you are on the thread that emerged in your exploration the more direct our work will be. Review the material you have read and with which you have worked.
Then grab your journal, and respond to the following:
1. What themes or reactions stand out for you? What patterns of behavior do you notice with respect to this week’s focus?
2. Can you list the times in your life when you were witness to these themes or reacted in a predictable way with respect to this week’s focus?
3. Have any past life references emerged in prior work or during this exploration? If so, briefly make note of it or them?
4. How has this theme, or knee-jerk reaction, impacted your ability to manifest what you want generally, as well as in the following areas of your life?
Connection to your Body –
Career Choice –
Abundance and Prosperity –
Authenticity and Contribution to the World –
5. Take a moment to give vision to how you would like it to be. In other words, what will it look like once you had mastered this issue?
6. How will your life be different?
7. Create an affirmation, intention, or declaration that captures that vision.
8. Now take a piece of paper and draw a garbage bag – in the middle of the bag, write down everything you want to release. On the outside of the bag write down descriptions of your vision – the attributes you want to acquire once we have healed this energetic blueprint in all dimensions of time and consciousness, have reprogrammed your DNA and established a new paradigm.
9. Bring this bag to our session – once we open your records and get the bigger picture this information will give our tapping direction and depth.